I was never a runner, I abhorred running infact. It hurt my chest, it made my thighs wobble and it seemed like too much torture for not enough rewards. I hated running and really questioned the sanity of runners who ran in the wind, rain and snow in my little town in Ontario.
One evening, about 3 or 4 years ago, I was driving home from work. It was a grim and grey January evening, the temperature had plummeted and I was looking forward to some good TV and tasty dinner. I reveled in the toasty warmness of my car while the snow was fell in thick, wet lines. I started to descend a rather steep hill, taking care not too slide in the now horizontal snow, and it was then I looked out onto the sidewalk and couldn’t believe my eyes....
There he was....a runner...an insane runner...
running,
up a steep hill,
in the snow.
UP A HILL and IN THE SNOW and RUNNING....I couldn’t believe I was using these three things in one sentence.
He kept his head down as he leaned into the wind and pushed himself up the hill. He looked tired but determined. Every step took tremendous effort - he used every part of his body to force himself through the onslaught of challenges. I remember asking “what does it take to become that committed?”, and “how does one get the motivation to put yourself through that?”.
Fast forward to Winter 2008 and how the tables have turned. I was the one now running, through the snow and up a hill. I was the one leaning into the wind and forcing another kilometer out of my body while snow lay thick on the ground and icicles hung from the rim of my hat. I now LOVE Winter running! It renews my motivation to run and reminds me how beautiful the snow can be.
I get it now, I do. I understand that the satisfaction of a challenging run far outweighs the discomfort. I am not going to lie either - I feel pretty “hardcore” when I look into the eyes of the people staring at my from their toasty cars. The questioning eyes wonder why I bother and the smiling eyes are those of runners who know why I bother. The right clothes and accessories are key as well - for me that entails being covered from head to toe in the warmest running attire so that only my eyes can be seen. Don’t be alarmed by those Bigfoot sightings in Oshawa.
Becoming healthy and fit is supposed to be challenging - without the challenge there is no point. For years I shied away from the physical and mental discomfort of working out - I wanted to do something that helped me lose weight but didn’t take much effort - but, as I found out later, it’s the effort that makes the difference.
Now, I am not saying everyone should start running up hills this Winter but testing limits is very....hmm.....addictive!
Friday, December 4, 2009
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
BIG FAT EXCUSES
Well, its been a while since my last blog - the craziness of life swept me up and I have been treading water for a while ;) However, blogging about my weight loss and the journey to get there is a helpful, self-reflective project. One that will not only help me when I write my book, go on Oprah and have my own TV Show (ahem - just a few minor goals) but will also help me lay to rest old “fat” demons that haunt anyone who had lost weight and works to keep it off.
Losing weight has been one of the greatest achievements in my life. For years I hid behind excuses, fear and reasons why I was obese. These excuses kept me from seeing the truth. The truth, as I have come to see it, is that I needed to change my entire life in order to be the person I wanted to be. That was an unfathomable idea to me for a long time, and one that felt rather selfish.
Here are some of my excuses:
When I was fat I told myself I was big boned
No really - I did. I had a big frame and hence that's why I wore I size 22 pant. Yeh...doesn’t really add up now does it.
When I was fat I told myself I was happy being “the big girl”
I wasn’t happy!!! I made people laugh, and I laughed along with them.Having fun and being funny is just my nature, but what I saw in the mirror, late at night, behind closed doors, was not funny - not too me.
When I was fat I told people I was not a runner
Well yeh, hauling 300 lbs off the couch was more than enough work! It wasn’t just running, exercise in general was very uncomfortable. My muscles were tight, my cardio sucked and I felt like a fool - it was embarrassing being that fat girl doing a squat!
No wonder it took my until after childbirth to lose weight... the sheer humiliation of being examined and inspected by your doctors, your doctors students, the nurses, your OB and probably a few others who happened to be hanging around, leaves you with no shame or discretion at all ;)
So, I lived behind a wall of excuses as to why it didn’t matter if I was overweight. Once you build that wall so high you forget its even there. You can’t see over the top to the other side, so you begin to get comfortable with yourself. Dairy Queen every night won’t hurt -will it? Hamburger Helper for dinner is a fine choice - right? Another roll of fat on my tummy can be disguised in this sweater - can’t it?
If any of these excuses sound familiar just take a good look around. There is probably a wall surrounding you, a wall of lies, excuses and reasons as to why it is ok to stay fat.
It is not ok to be fat, and, what’s more....it is ok to be selfish! Spend the money on a trainer, get a gym membership, buy better food. Do what it takes to make you healthy and be a little selfish. We do actually deserve it :)
Losing weight has been one of the greatest achievements in my life. For years I hid behind excuses, fear and reasons why I was obese. These excuses kept me from seeing the truth. The truth, as I have come to see it, is that I needed to change my entire life in order to be the person I wanted to be. That was an unfathomable idea to me for a long time, and one that felt rather selfish.
Here are some of my excuses:
When I was fat I told myself I was big boned
No really - I did. I had a big frame and hence that's why I wore I size 22 pant. Yeh...doesn’t really add up now does it.
When I was fat I told myself I was happy being “the big girl”
I wasn’t happy!!! I made people laugh, and I laughed along with them.Having fun and being funny is just my nature, but what I saw in the mirror, late at night, behind closed doors, was not funny - not too me.
When I was fat I told people I was not a runner
Well yeh, hauling 300 lbs off the couch was more than enough work! It wasn’t just running, exercise in general was very uncomfortable. My muscles were tight, my cardio sucked and I felt like a fool - it was embarrassing being that fat girl doing a squat!
No wonder it took my until after childbirth to lose weight... the sheer humiliation of being examined and inspected by your doctors, your doctors students, the nurses, your OB and probably a few others who happened to be hanging around, leaves you with no shame or discretion at all ;)
So, I lived behind a wall of excuses as to why it didn’t matter if I was overweight. Once you build that wall so high you forget its even there. You can’t see over the top to the other side, so you begin to get comfortable with yourself. Dairy Queen every night won’t hurt -will it? Hamburger Helper for dinner is a fine choice - right? Another roll of fat on my tummy can be disguised in this sweater - can’t it?
If any of these excuses sound familiar just take a good look around. There is probably a wall surrounding you, a wall of lies, excuses and reasons as to why it is ok to stay fat.
It is not ok to be fat, and, what’s more....it is ok to be selfish! Spend the money on a trainer, get a gym membership, buy better food. Do what it takes to make you healthy and be a little selfish. We do actually deserve it :)
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
115k Ride for United Way
Forgive me as I interrupt this chronological journey from fat to fit - something monumental happened last weekend which certainly deserves its very own blog.
On August 30th 2009, my husband, several friends, and myself biked 115k for United Way. This is one of my biggest accomplishments to date. Am I proud???? You better believe it.
The biking phase of my life just started this Summer and in my usual “all or nothing” approach to life, I went and purchased not only a hybrid - but a road bike too. That trip to Mexico is no longer on the cards - unless we bike there.
The bike ride was developed to raise awareness and funds for United Way - a great cause and a great group of people. They day went splendidly, well, my butt may tell you another story but on the whole (ouch, not a great choice of words).....I mean, in general, it was awesome....
I would like to, however, elaborate on a couple of key points:
The ride was deemed a “fun ride” meaning this wasn’t a race, THIS WASN’T A RACE PEOPLE! The guys dressed head to toe in orange and pink spandex may disagree. I think everything in life is a race for them...who can ride fastest, who can pedal harder and who can pee while riding their bike quicker (no, that's not a joke). With heads down and backs flat, they silently speed up behind you. The only tell tale sign of their approach is the hairs raising down the back of your neck. Suddenly you are engulfed in brief flash of colour and then they are gone. No friendly hello’s or words of support, just an air of silent arrogance as they try to zip by some slow-ass newbie.
I guess my interpretation of fun is somewhat different to others....fun for me is friends, laughter and family. Fun to the bike ride organizers must mean, cramming as many hills into one course as nature will allow. At about 90k in, a certain gentleman in a vivid orange jersey cycled up behind me. He weighs, i’d say, 115 lbs and is breezing up the hill that is slowly killing me. His encouragement and sincerity was great and then he said...... “Don’t worry, when you get to Conlin - its all down hill”.
This was music to my ears, I braced myself and put my head down - just a few more kilometers of this hilly hell and then we are smooth sailing. So, with every last bit of strength I powered my way to Conlin Road. In my minds eye, Conlin Road was a cyclists heaven. It would be freshly paved, no wind, shining sun and maybe even Brad Pitt would be there waving to me from the side lines. The reality was somewhat different. Conlin Road was nothing short of a torturous, 10k trek. A crosswind blew you sideways, a headwind blew you backwards and the rain dampened your clothes and your spirit. Throw in those beastly hills and this made for a grueling, heart thumping, legs burning final stretch. If I ever see Mr Orange Jersey again I might just snap him in two.
So, 115k later I spy the finish sign - which is bitter sweet as I still have to cycle 2 more K back to the UOIT campus where this whole adventure began. 115k took me about 5 hours to complete- during those 5 hours I did not once veer off the road, get hit by a car or fall off my bike. Noooo...I saved that last trick for the students, volunteers, bus-driver and fellow riders in the heart of the campus. As I approached the final stop sign I began to get flustered by an on coming bus. Is it stopping or going....stopping or going....STOPPING OR....awww crap...with my feet still clipped in to my bike I made the painful newbie mistake of not un-clipping my shoes in time - and so down I went. Slowly, yet steadily into the cement - crunch. Hey - at least I got a round of applause ;)
Anyway, while I elaborate and exaggerate on just a few of the funnier parts of this event I must say it was a well organized ride for a wonderful cause. More details can be found at: www.ride4unitedway.com. Pictures will also be available at www.dankitching.com/r4uw during the next week.
Big thanks go to Impala Bikes for making me and my hubby spend ridiculous amounts of money on our gear.
Till next time
Misty
On August 30th 2009, my husband, several friends, and myself biked 115k for United Way. This is one of my biggest accomplishments to date. Am I proud???? You better believe it.
The bike ride was developed to raise awareness and funds for United Way - a great cause and a great group of people. They day went splendidly, well, my butt may tell you another story but on the whole (ouch, not a great choice of words).....I mean, in general, it was awesome....
I would like to, however, elaborate on a couple of key points:
The ride was deemed a “fun ride” meaning this wasn’t a race, THIS WASN’T A RACE PEOPLE! The guys dressed head to toe in orange and pink spandex may disagree. I think everything in life is a race for them...who can ride fastest, who can pedal harder and who can pee while riding their bike quicker (no, that's not a joke). With heads down and backs flat, they silently speed up behind you. The only tell tale sign of their approach is the hairs raising down the back of your neck. Suddenly you are engulfed in brief flash of colour and then they are gone. No friendly hello’s or words of support, just an air of silent arrogance as they try to zip by some slow-ass newbie.
I guess my interpretation of fun is somewhat different to others....fun for me is friends, laughter and family. Fun to the bike ride organizers must mean, cramming as many hills into one course as nature will allow. At about 90k in, a certain gentleman in a vivid orange jersey cycled up behind me. He weighs, i’d say, 115 lbs and is breezing up the hill that is slowly killing me. His encouragement and sincerity was great and then he said...... “Don’t worry, when you get to Conlin - its all down hill”.
This was music to my ears, I braced myself and put my head down - just a few more kilometers of this hilly hell and then we are smooth sailing. So, with every last bit of strength I powered my way to Conlin Road. In my minds eye, Conlin Road was a cyclists heaven. It would be freshly paved, no wind, shining sun and maybe even Brad Pitt would be there waving to me from the side lines. The reality was somewhat different. Conlin Road was nothing short of a torturous, 10k trek. A crosswind blew you sideways, a headwind blew you backwards and the rain dampened your clothes and your spirit. Throw in those beastly hills and this made for a grueling, heart thumping, legs burning final stretch. If I ever see Mr Orange Jersey again I might just snap him in two.
So, 115k later I spy the finish sign - which is bitter sweet as I still have to cycle 2 more K back to the UOIT campus where this whole adventure began. 115k took me about 5 hours to complete- during those 5 hours I did not once veer off the road, get hit by a car or fall off my bike. Noooo...I saved that last trick for the students, volunteers, bus-driver and fellow riders in the heart of the campus. As I approached the final stop sign I began to get flustered by an on coming bus. Is it stopping or going....stopping or going....STOPPING OR....awww crap...with my feet still clipped in to my bike I made the painful newbie mistake of not un-clipping my shoes in time - and so down I went. Slowly, yet steadily into the cement - crunch. Hey - at least I got a round of applause ;)
Anyway, while I elaborate and exaggerate on just a few of the funnier parts of this event I must say it was a well organized ride for a wonderful cause. More details can be found at: www.ride4unitedway.com. Pictures will also be available at www.dankitching.com/r4uw during the next week.
Big thanks go to Impala Bikes for making me and my hubby spend ridiculous amounts of money on our gear.
Till next time
Misty
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
So the decision was made.....
If you recall in my last post I had managed to convince each and every one of my 300 lbs, that exercise would be a good idea....ok...just an idea....so off I went to Mom and Baby Strollersculpt.
I had my baby, my stroller and my water.....along with some diapers, burp cloths, a rain coat/sun hat/extra socks, not too mention the cell phone, a baby sling and 3 bottles of sunscreen.....whaddya mean I have to bring weights and a mat!
Nervous and unimpressed, I plastered a smile on my face and we set off to warm up (at 300 lbs, getting out of the car was a warm up). This was an outdoor workout in the park with the sun shining and the waves washing against the shore....idyllic right???
To say I was unfit was a little bit of an understatement....I was dropping further and further behind - I was at the back of the pack and beyond...I was the speck on the horizon. Even with my 6ft long legs I simply couldn't keep up. I so desperately wanted to hear the mommy gossip I craved but the sound of my racing heart got in the way. Laughing along with the girls would have made things easier but I could only manage some laboured breathing.
Yeh I sucked....and it was my own fault.
But, it got better. Slowly but surely, my legs worked faster and my heart beat slower. The sweat poured down my purple cheeks and past a smile of accomplishment. I felt like I was being rolled over by a M.A.C truck and yet I went back for more.
So what’s the message here? To just keep going? Consistency is the key? Suck it up buttercup?
Yes, yes and yes....the words that still ring in my ears are: "if it were easy, everyone would do it"....or as I like to say "if it were easy, then everyone would be skinny".
It is always the hardest things in life that will build you mentally and shape you physically - Misty Mozejko 2009
I had my baby, my stroller and my water.....along with some diapers, burp cloths, a rain coat/sun hat/extra socks, not too mention the cell phone, a baby sling and 3 bottles of sunscreen.....whaddya mean I have to bring weights and a mat!
Nervous and unimpressed, I plastered a smile on my face and we set off to warm up (at 300 lbs, getting out of the car was a warm up). This was an outdoor workout in the park with the sun shining and the waves washing against the shore....idyllic right???
To say I was unfit was a little bit of an understatement....I was dropping further and further behind - I was at the back of the pack and beyond...I was the speck on the horizon. Even with my 6ft long legs I simply couldn't keep up. I so desperately wanted to hear the mommy gossip I craved but the sound of my racing heart got in the way. Laughing along with the girls would have made things easier but I could only manage some laboured breathing.
Yeh I sucked....and it was my own fault.
But, it got better. Slowly but surely, my legs worked faster and my heart beat slower. The sweat poured down my purple cheeks and past a smile of accomplishment. I felt like I was being rolled over by a M.A.C truck and yet I went back for more.
So what’s the message here? To just keep going? Consistency is the key? Suck it up buttercup?
Yes, yes and yes....the words that still ring in my ears are: "if it were easy, everyone would do it"....or as I like to say "if it were easy, then everyone would be skinny".
It is always the hardest things in life that will build you mentally and shape you physically - Misty Mozejko 2009
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Starting from the start....
Losing 120lbs starts one pound at a time, one thought at a time, and one less Tim Bit at a time....lasting weight-loss is truly a slow, meditative process and often times incredibly frustrating.
I get asked A LOT about "my lightbulb moment". Friends and clients want to know what the last straw was, how did I suddenly manage to get off my butt and start working out. Before I changed my lifestyle, I often waited for someone to hand me my motivation. I figured a higher power would, one day, just hand me a big box with a big bow and contained within that box was all the power and motivation I needed to get going with my new healthy lifestyle. I thought for sure I would read a book, meet a new person, watch another TV show that would just make it all click And so I waited....and waited....and waited over a decade..siiighhhh..turns out it wasn't like that at all.
The thing is, I didn't have a single, defining moment. I didn't wake up on a Monday thinking - YEP! This is it - I am ready to start losing weight and eating right. I will tell you what really happened -
Being on maternity leave I had a great group of mommy buddies and one mom suggested we join a fitness class called Mom and Baby Strollersculpt. I remember sighing deeply and thinking to myself: “really???? right now? with my baby and all my baby blubber? Couldn’t we just do it in a few months? What’s wrong with potluck lunches and trips to the Zoo?”.
My entire being recoiled at the thought of working out BUT I was so much more disturbed by the fact that I may miss out on some mommy gossip, or the planning of the next mommy event I ended up agreeing to the class. The fear of becoming the mommy outcast made my mouth say "sure - that sounds like fun" and I ended up joining. The class was the first step towards becoming a Certified Personal Trainer, Run Club Leader and now Duathlete.
Now, I am sorry to disappoint those who where waiting or me to write something much more monumental and life changing. As it turns out, my journey started off with a decision made from fear - fear of not being part of the in crowd - not a very inspirational and motivating reason - but the truth none the less. After thinking about this series of events, I uncovered what the motivational message really is:
I started something healthy when I didn’t think I was ready. You will never be ready, so do it anyway. Join a class, go to yoga, call me for a session but just do it, and do it today.
I get asked A LOT about "my lightbulb moment". Friends and clients want to know what the last straw was, how did I suddenly manage to get off my butt and start working out. Before I changed my lifestyle, I often waited for someone to hand me my motivation. I figured a higher power would, one day, just hand me a big box with a big bow and contained within that box was all the power and motivation I needed to get going with my new healthy lifestyle. I thought for sure I would read a book, meet a new person, watch another TV show that would just make it all click And so I waited....and waited....and waited over a decade..siiighhhh..turns out it wasn't like that at all.
The thing is, I didn't have a single, defining moment. I didn't wake up on a Monday thinking - YEP! This is it - I am ready to start losing weight and eating right. I will tell you what really happened -
Being on maternity leave I had a great group of mommy buddies and one mom suggested we join a fitness class called Mom and Baby Strollersculpt. I remember sighing deeply and thinking to myself: “really???? right now? with my baby and all my baby blubber? Couldn’t we just do it in a few months? What’s wrong with potluck lunches and trips to the Zoo?”.
My entire being recoiled at the thought of working out BUT I was so much more disturbed by the fact that I may miss out on some mommy gossip, or the planning of the next mommy event I ended up agreeing to the class. The fear of becoming the mommy outcast made my mouth say "sure - that sounds like fun" and I ended up joining. The class was the first step towards becoming a Certified Personal Trainer, Run Club Leader and now Duathlete.
Now, I am sorry to disappoint those who where waiting or me to write something much more monumental and life changing. As it turns out, my journey started off with a decision made from fear - fear of not being part of the in crowd - not a very inspirational and motivating reason - but the truth none the less. After thinking about this series of events, I uncovered what the motivational message really is:
I started something healthy when I didn’t think I was ready. You will never be ready, so do it anyway. Join a class, go to yoga, call me for a session but just do it, and do it today.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
A welcome and a thankyou!
First and foremost, thanks for reading this blog. This blog is the first step towards writing my book which will contain my own personal battle with obesity and how I lost 120lbs to become a Personal Trainer, Duathlete, scholar of Holistic Nutrition and other accomplishments.
To be able to pass along some of the things I have learned along the way and actually have people benefit from my ramblings is all I really hope to achieve. Being 300lbs in a size 2 world is lonely and overwhelming- so I need to tell people that there are ways to dig yourself out of that rut and start to live the fit and healthy version of you that is dying to shed the fat suit!
Stay tuned as I dig deep into the vault of memories, tips, tricks, failures and successes I encountered along the way. I will be adding in recipes, workouts, links and more and of course questions and feedback are welcome.
Web: www.tmtraining.ca
Twitter: TMtraining
Facebook: TM Training and Nutrition
Bye for now
Teresa (Misty) Mozejko
Certified Personal Trainer
To be able to pass along some of the things I have learned along the way and actually have people benefit from my ramblings is all I really hope to achieve. Being 300lbs in a size 2 world is lonely and overwhelming- so I need to tell people that there are ways to dig yourself out of that rut and start to live the fit and healthy version of you that is dying to shed the fat suit!
Stay tuned as I dig deep into the vault of memories, tips, tricks, failures and successes I encountered along the way. I will be adding in recipes, workouts, links and more and of course questions and feedback are welcome.
Web: www.tmtraining.ca
Twitter: TMtraining
Facebook: TM Training and Nutrition
Bye for now
Teresa (Misty) Mozejko
Certified Personal Trainer
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